Is it too late to say Happy New Year?!

Sooo, we are currently in the third month of the year…how are we feeling about that? I am grateful to be here, I really am, because the devil is a liar!

I’ve thought and thought about what I wanted to post today, and nothing came to mind, so I decided to just ramble and hopefully something sticks. January and February were months of revelation, deliberation, redirection, and fear… too much fear and anxiety. But the fact that I am typing this post right now means that I have overcome.

With that, I want to wish everyone a Happy New Year because I don’t know about you, but for me, the year has officially begun, and I am ready to get started. I really am happy to be back.

I had a tough week, especially last week. I had an interview that I thought went really well, but I ended up not getting the job. I don’t know why -out of the many “no’s” I have received- this one hurt the most, but it did.

Which brings me to a relationship or occurrence I’ve always struggled with as a Christian. Whenever I pray to God for something with all my heart and don’t get it, it pains me a lot. Like, it really breaks my heart because I feel betrayed and cast away. But if I just go for something without expecting God to perfect it, I don’t have any emotional attachment to the result -whether good or bad. My Christian mind hasn’t yet figured out how to navigate this. It’s still very confusing to me… Do I expect God to work things out in my favor in a specific situation, or do I just trust that He will do what He can? My dear, I really don’t know.

That being said, I finally found a church. Glooooraaaayyyyy! I really enjoy this church, but I did the silliest thing the first week I joined—I told everyone that I play the saxophone instead of saying that I’m relearning to play the saxophone. And now, people have started calling me “the saxophonist” when I don’t even remember my do-re-mi. God help me!