I’ve gained a lot of weight in the past few months. I think I’m now a steady 90kg. Guys, I’m not happy about this. I feel like I’m in a zone where I know I have to lose weight—not for aesthetics or “fit-fam” reasons, but because, my dear, this weight is not the way. It has to drop.
But I think another issue I have is that I’ve always looked big to an extent, and still felt okay. Like, I’ve always been attracted to my body, if that makes sense. When people talk about beauty standards and stereotypes, my body type (hip dips and all) is actually my beauty standard. So even though I’ve always been big, it’s never been that deep for me.
Also, because I’ve always viewed myself as a big girl, I don’t have anything to compare myself to. It’s not like I can say “Omg, I was so small back then.” No—I’ve never had that. I don’t even know what I’d look like small. I just feel like I have gotten big-er.
Anyway, the point is—in honour of Dream Diaries—I now have a dream to lose this weight. Like babes, someone out there is praying for you. So I’m begging this weight to go and find them and leave me. 😭
I wish to lose a healthy amount of weight.
I dream of a healthier diet.
I dream of a sexy back.
I pray against big back in Jesus’ name.
I want my facial definition back—so that when I take selfies, they make sense.
I dream of having the consistency and discipline to go to the gym, to eat healthy, and to love myself through the process. I dream and manifest that my self-love will not be overshadowed by the insecurities I feel about this weight gain.
I dream to continue loving myself—whether I lose the weight or not. I pray to be content in the body I have now. And I manifest wealth and abundance, financially and all around, so that while I’m on this journey, I can buy clothes that match my current body type.
Yes God!
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