Being Bad at Being a Good Friend

Let’s face it: I’m not winning any “Friend of the Year” awards anytime soon. To all my friends reading this: I’m trying to be a good friend but when it comes to actually being as great if a friend I want to be for them? Well, let’s just say I have some room for improvement. I particularly had to accept this in these past two weeks where I literally spoke to NO ONE and the guilt of it all kept eating me but I just couldn’t bring myself to call and check in on anyone.

Good Plans Bad Executions

Sometimes, life gets hectic-or in my case, overwhelming and noisy-, and I unintentionally let friendships fade. I forget to reply to a text, cancel plans at the last minute, or maybe even let months go by without checking in.

I find that I tend to start each day with grand plans:

– “I’ll definitely call David back today!”

– “I should check in on how Mike’s new job is going.”

– “I need to congratulate Emma on her engagement!”

Fast forward 12 hours, and I’m lying in bed, scrolling through memes, wondering where the day went.

The Social Battery Struggle

Here’s the thing: I’m an omnivert with the social battery life of a 2010 flip phone. By the time I finish work and adult responsibilities, my desire for human interaction is usually on par with my enthusiasm for eating olives.

This energy deficit can lead to some not-so-good friend behaviors:

– Canceling plans at the last minute (I’m sorry, I swear I meant it when I said yes!)

– Taking days (okay, sometimes weeks) to respond to messages

– Forgetting important life events because I haven’t checked social media in a month

The Overthinking Paralysis of a wannabe Good Friend

Want to know the fastest way to sabotage your efforts to be a good friend? Overthink everything!

“They’re probably too busy for me. I shouldn’t bother them.”

“A good friend would have reached out sooner. It’s too late now.”

“What if I say the wrong thing? Better say nothing at all.”

And so, the message sits unsent, the call unmade. It’s a vicious cycle of guilt and avoidance.

My wannabe Good friend Road to Redemption is pretty simple; I know it takes time and practice but I have been doing this for 5 years so I don’t really have an excuse at the point.

it includes:

• Set reminders for important dates
• Reach out, even when it feels awkward (turns out, friends appreciate the effort)
• Be honest about struggles (real talk: good friends understand)

So here’s to all of us imperfect friends out there. May our good intentions eventually translate into actions, and may our friends continue to love us despite our flaws.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have about 47 messages to respond to…